25 August 2009

2009 - CA - THE GREAT BLACK WIDOW HUNT

Every so often, I find myself staring down a giant, female Black Widow spider.


For the most part, I don't mind bugs, insects, critters, spiders, etc.
I can say, however, that I am not a fan of the Potato Bug mini-aliens, mosquitors or ants.

(Potato bug)
As for Black Widows, my feelings are locked and unchangable...they gotta GO! I will admit they are fascinating to observe, and in my experience, BW's are reclusive and skittish and not aggressive. Statistically, the BW bites are very rarely fatal to human adults. Although painful, the bite usually heals...usually, you don't lose a limb or digit.

(Pic pulled from the Net - suspected BW bite - day 6)

Black Widows have a bad reputation because they've been seen killing their little, harmless, brown, male, counterpart after courtship...oh yeah, and they inject a toxic venom that attacks the nervous system and is one of the most potent venoms secreted by a living creature. Woohoo!

I hadn't seen a Black Widow around the house for a few months, until last night. I pulled into the driveway after a late movie and there she was, hanging fully spread out in the middle of a messy web. She was a big-old-beast and had threaded a couple of lines from the bumper of my perma-parked jeep to the ground. I could see her in the headlights from 20 feet away.
I learned a while back that where there is one BW, there are many BWs...and so the hunt is immediately on. The Black Widow Hunter in me comes alive!

BWH - JOIN my BLACK WIDOW HUNTER CLUB - It's EASY! Simply head on down to your local tattoo parlor and have them scratch this ugly BWH mark on your inner right forearm, take a pic and send me $100 bucks. and then BAM! YOU'RE IN! Happy hunting!


Anyway...
I went to the garage, put on a headlamp, grabbed my gloves and a shovel, and went straight for the Jeep. I found three new, smaller BW's immediately. BAM BAM BAM! I had already named the big one in front of the jeep Isabella and decided to capture her in a 5-gallon bucket for further study.

(ISABELLA IN A BUCKET)
This hunting/killing/squishing process may sound cruel, premeditated and unnecessary to the dedicated critter lover out there, but, If you own a small dog (like Charlie) and you like him alive (like I do), you need to hunt the females down. Charlie is a curious, furry little moron and he likes to bat bugs around, put them in his mouth, spit them out, pounce on them, lick them...you get the idea.

(Charlie is not afraid of Black Widows and that is not an evolutionary advantage!)

A Black Widow bite does have the potential to kill or severely cripple a small dog (or child!)



With Isabella in her bucket, I continued hunting around the house.

99.8% of the time, at night, the female will be hanging in the middle of her web, less than a foot from the ground. The good news with that fact is that you will rarely walk face first into one, the bad news, in California, we like to walk around in shorts and barefoot.

(The following BW pics were taken post-squish!)
Found one here.


BW's love the garage and they love stuff on the ground, crates, cardboard boxes, wood piles, holes, bricks - generally, heaps of stuff..on the ground. The BW web looks very chaotic, there is no pattern, just loose, thin fibers.

Found one!

One here.



One here next to the cornhole boards...


When the hunt was done, I gathered the little toxic, squished spider carcasses, boiled them in vinegar and drank the mixture from an old boot. Not really, but I thought about the power that might have given me!

The HUNT was a success!! 7 BW's squished.

But, I will need to have another hunt soon. Tonight, I saw a new, gigantic BW in the garage that scurried away before I was able to gather my tools and wits to go into her dark corner.

She was as fat as i have ever seen, so I need to find her before she lays a billion eggs.


Remember to get your tattoo and send me $$$$!



THE GREAT ISABELLA (pre-squish)

04 August 2009

2009 - UT - Duck Creek Trip - Motobeer Vacation - UPDATE



UPDATE - UPDATE

Lesson #452
Always carry a tow-strap.

I took my Husqvarna TE610 into the local shop after the electrical shut down in Utah. (Full story here)

Turns out the Varta battery went bad after only 1450 miles. The side of the battery case was caved in....probably a sign something was wrong.

The joys of electronic fuel injection have been revealed! The bike does not run without a battery and I can not realistically carry a spare.

The only real fix would be to get a carbureted motorcycle.

26 July 2009

POVLA - 02 - White Tiger gonna get me.

Life Lesson #451:

When you put your hand on a 250 lb. white tiger's face and try to push it away as it jumps on you, you can not apply enough force to move the kitty away.

The tiger will just keep moving in the direction it was moving.

White Tiger gonna get me. from LONGERDAY on Vimeo.

15 July 2009

2009 - UT - Duck Creek Trip - Motobeer Vacation

Finally, a plan that happened! Not just talk. No way! This is talk followed by real action.

UTAH...



I've made some great friends over the years, and my comrades Keith, Garrett and Joe are some of the greatest.

The four of us hatched a plan to head to southern Utah for 3 short days of motorized chaos. We chose Utah because it was in the "middle" of all of us. Joe drove from Nebraska to Colorado where he met Keith, who came from New Mexico, and together they drove 12 hours to Utah. Garrett came from central Idaho and drove 13 hours. I started in southern California and drove 7 hours. Pretty even, I'd say, considering that I had to drive through the Mojave desert.

I left Los Angeles on Thursday at 7am. It took 4 hours to get to Las Vegas.

I made a pit-stop at the Husky dealer to pick up a 14 tooth countershaft sprocket because I knew I'd be needing more low end control to follow Garrett and Keith in the technical spots.

Another 2 hours northeast of Vegas I hit Cedar City, where hwy 14 takes you up into the mountains, toward Brianhead ski area and our destination, Duck Creek ohv.

I was the first to arrive at the Duck Creek campground (8700 ft elev.) about 40 miles east of Cedar City. This place was really spectacular. There were trails everywhere.



Keith and Joe showed up around 4pm. We shared a beer and some laughs.

The one and only Turfdraagster


Joe - Diesel Mechanic & Great Wall Erector.


Garrett didn't show up until 3 am Friday morning. More beer, more laughs.

BTW, Garrett lives the good life.



The dirt was our food and the beer our water.



Well, not actually. We did eat breakfast and drink coffee.


From camp, Duck Creek Village was a short 2 mile drive or a fun 4 mile 4x4 trail.


Fun Fun Fun.





The trails were long and straight with some fun curvy sections, but for the most part, the riding was moderate, relaxing and fun.

We'd come back to camp to tinker and refresh.
There is always something to be fixed, tightened or improved on these moto trips.

Keith fixes a slow leak.


The culprit was obvious...


Garrett stitched the giant crack in his tail fender with a nail, some stove gas and bailing wire.



This worked like a champ and the bailing wire came in handy when we needed to hot-wire the Husky.


The new neighbors were kind enough to let us know what we could expect from them.


It was great to see old friends, catch up and spin some dirt in each others eyes. The trip was a total success.

Well, except for my trusty Husqvarna.

This is how my bike started.


I was plagued by problems. The new lynx headlight fairing broke off on my first ride of the trip. The base bolt sheared off at the triple-clamp and the fairing began flapping like a leaf in the wind.
No problem there, just remove the entire contraption.
It was the unexplained electrical issues that stopped me dead, 15 miles out on beautiful trail #7, my last ride of the trip. Getting out was a real challenge. Keith had to tow me most of the way with a 6ft tie-down and on a motorcycle, that's no simple task. I lost the bike once and jumped off just in time to watch Keith drag the husky like a roped calf. We made it to hwy 89 right as it got dark and soon became stranded on a lonely turnout. After some deer crossing the road jokes, a few inappropriate stories and a funny mishap that re-broke my kickstand, a sheriff spotted me wrapped up in my silver space blanket and stopped to check in. We ditched the bikes in the bushes and the copper took us back to camp.

Earlier, Garrett and Joe had left us to go get the truck with the intent of driving it down the 4x4 trail and picking up my dead bike. But with Keith's towing abilities, we were able to get out of the forest. So Garrett and Joe searched the woods for two hours, finally seeing our tracks to the road and heading back to camp.

Garrett and Joe pulled up 10 minutes after the sheriff dropped us off, and when we saw them coming, I asked the cop to cuff us for their arrival and he said, "should I have you at gun point?" We laughed and decided that would've been a little much. After the fact, I think we should have done it anyway.



If you look carefully you can see the weld that fixed the last crack.


By the time the trip was over, the te610 didn't run and looked like some bad custom job.


Oh well...Sh*t happens.

2009 - NV - Wild Kingdom

I forgot to post about my last Las Vegas adventure.

Nothing really happened. We just laid around a Luxor cabana, and played with lions and tigers.




08 July 2009

2009 - CA - El Segundo - 4th of July


The Evite read -
"4th of July Party and Drunken Parade!"















- and so it went, something like this...







The Place


Zack Stoller
- Patriotic Party Producer -







After some celebration and tasty hydration, the parade began with a drum-roll.

Some shakers and a dozen kazoos.
Don't forget the flags and homeland cheer!







And when night fell...
fireworks.




Finale!


After the fireworks, the party moved to "The Tavern on Main."












The next morning,
Charlie was hungover when he woke up in a hammock.